Sendai YMCA. March 1987
If I ever felt conflicted in my life, it was leaving Japan. I went for a two year stint and extended almost another full year. The travel bug had bitten me and I was in extreme saving mode for the last few months of work. The yen had massively appreciated against the US dollar, so my salary had actually gone up dramatically in my last year there. I was planning a huge journey around the world, ending back in the USA to a totally uncertain future [see: Beijing to Athens]. I had never done anything that daring before. Then again, I was ready to leave.
The Japan years were incredibly eye-opening to a white-boy from Pennsylvania. Unlike many of my colleagues, I was not a "Japanophile". I mean, I had never dreamed of going to Japan - the job just fell into my lap after getting my master's degree. I wanted to work abroad, I needed a job, and that took me to Japan. My life there was fraught with problems as the cultural differences were huge. Nevertheless, I had an amazing experience that few of my friends back home could ever appreciate. I knew I didn't want to stay in Japan - I didn't "love" it, but I had discovered travel and life abroad and somehow I wanted to continue with that. The Japan years ignited something in me that had been there all along - wanderlust.
What did I say in my closing remarks? Probably expected platitudes only. I left Japan leaving behind a handful of good expat friends and several close Japanese friends with whom I remain in contact with until today. Some friendships that I expected to continue never did - but that is part of life's journey. I was leaving because I was tired of the job, tired of my boss, and tired of Sendai (which really was a "country" city). I needed/wanted more. I was not going to find that in the Tohoku region of Japan which was one of the least developed in the country.
In the photo I only remember Ms Oyama (far right) as our longsuffering English School secretary who was continually browbeaten by our boss, Mukai (whom even the other Japanese staff didn't like). Would I have stayed with a better boss and a slightly more interesting job? Probably not. Japan was, in the end, an "us vs them" culture and a foreigner, even after learning Japanese, was never going to be totally accepted. My friends who elected to stay in Japan due to marriage or work learned to accept living on the periphery of society. I could never do that for a long-term commitment although I admired my friends who did.
Perhaps the greatest thing I learned at the end of the Japan journey was that it was ok not to have every moment of life planned out. It was actually fine to do something that ended in a question mark. Later, close friends commented on that change in me: "You always had a plan, always had it together - this is so different". I never realized what a rigidity I had displayed to others. One thing is for certain - having left Japan for an uncertain future taught me how to rise like a phoenix every time one life path ended. At the time, I had no idea that I would totally stop life and start again REPEATEDLY. Leaving Japan taught me I could do that - for example, taking a huge trip and burning through all my cash without a job to return to! (not sure I would be so confident to do THAT these days... age does temper risk)
Life is about reinventing ourselves when the situation changes. My life trajectory just happened to change a lot and often! Sendai YMCA, I was so happy to be given the chance to spread my wings in your halls along the Hirose River, and when my time with you ended, I was even happier to leave.
Thank you.
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