Orchids, Orchard Road. January 14, 2014
[from FB post: April 5, 2018]
An Ode to Missing Friends
I can't bear to be without you I think about you always I want to be with you I need to see you I enjoy our time I miss you Really.....
Here I am. I came to see you. Let's meet
Meet? Today? I am busy. I have this thing to do. I really want to see you but I can't. You don't know how much this bothers me. If you had just come at another time really I could
Although I wrote this poem in my last months in Abha, Saudi Arabia, it was really about friends in Singapore as well. One commonality between my Singapore experience and the Saudi experience was the way friends in both places just pined away missing me at all times. Singaporean friends wanted me to spend my next holiday there and Saudi friends wanted my next weekend, yet it all amounted to the same thing. I received the most encouraging texts or engaged in the loveliest conversations promising future meetings filled with good food and lots of good times. In most cases, said "fun times" rarely came to pass.
I started to develop a theory that the intention of meeting friends including even making tentative plans was equal to or even EXCEEDED the reality of meeting and doing something in actuality. The idea was simple: "look how special you are, I am devoting all this free time to communicating with you and making plans". However, actually following through? As my cousin/sister EHJ says, "details, details"! This phenomenon bothered me for some time, especially as I was transitioning away from my former life.
These days, however, I am far more resilient and much more likely to nip such chatter in the bud by telling people my own plans and where I will be. Anyone who wishes to join is welcome. If one thing I have learned in this, my most recent incarnation, it is that I am very happy with my own company. Being joined by a friend often makes everything even better, but endless planning for "someday" really serves no purpose - except for those who believe in my above theory, "Intentions are better than reality".
Do now, plan not - says Yoda. Life is simply too short.
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